Welcome to a new segment here at Weird Internets. I will share with you one horribly bad quote that should never of been uttered and one awesome quote that shakes the very ground it was spoken on.
“You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that.” - President George W. Bush
“No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.” -George Burns
The hard part is picking which quote is better. While George Burns has a remarkable insight into society and mob mentality President Bush trumps it with picking on a single mother of three, one of them being mentally challenged (the children not the President) who has to work three jobs.
“The study detailed Americans’ deep and broad religiosity, finding that 92 percent believe in God or a universal spirit — including one in five of those who call themselves atheists. More than half of Americans polled pray at least once a day” - Washington Post
Atheist; noun
“one who believes that there is no deity”
So if 1 out of 5 “Atheist” believe in God then they are not Atheist anymore and can no longer be considered part of the poll. Now to be fair this might not be the Washington Post’s fault. Although they should of looked into possible paradoxes prior to publishing the article. It is always a good idea to do a quick paradox check when writing because they can really come out of left field, same goes for conundrums while I am on a warning rant.
I find it shocking how people can call themselves Atheist and then say that they believe in God. I think the word they are looking for to define themselves would be Theistic Agnosticism. Which is what I feel that most religious people are these days. Especially that giant section of utterly confused people who are not sure if their church is for them anymore.
Personally I have always preferred the following definition.
Anyone else every get the feeling that sometimes people really don’t get native speakers to look over products before they are imported into countries. I mean as delicious as it sounds it just doesn’t scream out to me as a product I would be keeping in my house. If you want to order your own bag for only 95¢ head over to the Grace Food website. For less then a dollar it may be a good joke gift or conversation starter.
1941, German forces invade the Soviet Union. Soviet troops although very strong in numbers are outmatched in just about everything else. The Nazis are using the newly coined blitzkrieg style attacks. Depending heavily on their armored divisions to gain ground. Soviet generals are stressed and are in dire need for solutions to counter the German advance. Such is born the anti tank dog (ohh yea you heard that right).
The Soviets eager to find a way to counter the heavy armor of the German tanks decided possibly while smashed on Vodka to strap dogs with high explosives and send them under the tanks where they would explode and take out the weaker armor underneath.
The dogs were starved then trained to find food that would be placed under tanks. Soon the dogs became accustom to seeking out food underneath tanks. Mounted with a switch on their backs that would be tripped when going under the tank then boom anti-tank dog.
The soviet anti-tank dogs did have one very serious flaw. They were trained to look for food under the soviet tanks. When released into the battlefield they did indeed look for food under tanks, but the tanks they were trained to look under happened to be the soviets own tanks. This would surely have made the 1941 Darwin Awards if only they had existed.
They later did see some success in battle as they were quick moving and very low to the ground making them very hard to hit with normal anti-infantry weapons. Today the anti-tank dog is long since retired much to the joy of PETA. Hey at least no one was eating them right?
Potato chips have the unique feature of coming in a wide selection of flavors from Ranch to Salt & Vinegar. Some people are repulsed by certain flavors and some can not live without them. Sometimes things go horribly wrong and flavors that you would never associate with a chip come to market.
Ham flavored chips takes a dangerous leap into the meat flavored department. I have never even encountered these myself but if I happen to come across them I think I would have to give them a try, I mean after all aren’t you curious? Plus the honey baked part just makes them sound all the better. Smoked or cured ham would just be plain weird on a chip after all right?
Lamb and mint flavor, another dangerous leap into the meat market. Personally these don’t sound nearly asgood as the ham chips do. When I think about what these must taste like I just keep thinking of mint jello with an aftertaste of a lamp gyro. The thought itself doesn’t really make me want to grab a bag and munch down during a movie. I am pretty sure I could “have just one” of these.
Dill Pickle Flavor‽ (Interrobang, score). Okay I have tried these and they are shockingly good. In fact they make a close run for my favorite chip flavor (after salt and vinegar). They have the bitter salty taste that everyone just so craves in a late night snack. At first glance however pickle flavored chips do not scream appetizing. If you are a fan of salt and vinegar chips these are worth a try, expect a bit more of a bite to them though. On a note of warning however eating a whole bag of these may very well make you sick.
Ketchup is not a flavor that I imagine would go on a chip at all. It seems like they got potato chip and french fries mixed up. Possibly because of a couple of British people on a flavor selection board somewhere. I have also encountered these in the food store but have never taken the plunge to pick up a bag and munch down. I am not a fan of ketchup to begin with and I just can’t see how it could improve a chip. Maybe I am wrong but couldn’t I just squeeze out a bottle of Heinz into a bag of plain chips and get the same effect?
The weirdest of the weird. Filet Mignon flavored chips, because sometimes you feel like a grade-A steak but only have 85¢. Personally I want to try these just to see how they can make a chip cow flavored. Sadly though it does not appear that they are readily available within the United States. Maybe if we can get some A-1 chips we can mix them together and have a pretty nice meal. Although we would need some steamed broccoli chips to really top it off.
Let me introduce you to a very bad ass punctuation mark. My little friend here is called the Interrobang and despite OS X not having that word in its dictionary it is a very real thing. When dealing with weird internets it is very often needed when trying to phrase a question with disbelief or excitement.
Why is it then that we never learned about the interrobang in schools or seen it in the printed media? Well there is not easy answer to those questions, it is officially the red headed step child of the english punctuation world. Locked up in the cellar and beaten into submission, we can pretend it isn’t real but one day it is going to stab you in the eye with a fork.
You will often feel the need to use “!?” or “?!” but I implore you please bring the interrobang into common usage. It is far to wickedly awesome not to be included in ever letter to the editor or lolcats picture.
Typing the interrobang
Copy and Paste: ‽
HTML: &*#8253 or &*#x203D (Remove the “*”)
OS X: Command + Option + T, then select “Punctuation”, it is in there
Linux: No Idea, if someone figures it out drop in a comment
Windows: ALT+8253
As a former professional combat arms soldier I can honestly say I would have a very hard time field stripping an M-4 in the time that this 11 year old girl can. 53 seconds is a damn impressive time as I know infantrymen who would be hard pressed to accomplish the same task in 3 minutes.
It is always comforting to see America’s gun culture in a favorable light as well.
What is most upseting about this is not even the fact that it does exist, but the fact that a German came up with this before an American. I mean after all an American came up with the cheese filled bacon wrapped deep fried hot dog. Plus Americans have led the way in transporting food, after all we love to snack in places we shouldn’t.
The idea itself is pretty straight forward you boil some water drop the “can of burger” in the pot and let it steam. Reports from some very brave bloggers who went ahead and ordered it seem to be strangely positive. The bun doesn’t even get soggy according to the legends.
I challenge the obese, unemployed, students, and pot heads of the nation to reinvent this product in a more American tone. Lets look into deep frying it, adding bacon, or possibly even some Cheese-Wiz. We can not simply lay down and let the Germans come up with a more portable burger then us. If we can’t beat them on portability lets beat them on downright unhealthy.
Incase you wanted to order your own cheeseburger in a can you can buy directly from this website.
Today at work I noticed that weirdinternets.com was available. Well needless to say it is no longer available, take that you domain parking bastards.
Everyday I encounter any number of very weird things on the internet that I really feel I need to expose other people to. Not because I think that it is important and will change their outlook on the world in even the slightest way. I feel the need to seek revenege upon the rest of you wasting your valued time on whatever tricked me into wasting my time. In short expect this to be a constant rickrolling without Rick Astley.
This time I went with WordPress as my blog of choice. Previously I have used Moveable Type and wanted a bit of a change. Not sure which one I prefer as of yet but I will keep you all informed.
Oh by the way I hope I got you twice if not at least once.
Loading ...
Save to Browser Favorites
Ask
backflip
blinklist
BlogBookmark
Bloglines
BlogMarks
Blogsvine
BUMPzee!
CiteULike
co.mments
Connotea
del.icio.us
DotNetKicks
Digg
diigo
dropjack.com
dzone
Facebook
Fark
Faves
Feed Me Links
Friendsite
folkd.com
Furl
Google
Hugg
Jeqq
Kaboodle
kirtsy
linkaGoGo
LinksMarker
Ma.gnolia
Mister Wong
Mixx
MySpace
MyWeb
Netvouz
Newsvine
PlugIM
popcurrent
Propeller
Reddit
Rojo
Segnalo
Shoutwire
Simpy
Slashdot
Sphere
Sphinn
Spurl.net
Squidoo
StumbleUpon
Technorati
ThisNext
Webride
Windows Live
Yahoo!
Email This to a Friend
If you like this then please subscribe to the 
Anyone else every get the feeling that sometimes people really don’t get native speakers to look over products before they are imported into countries. I mean as delicious as it sounds it just doesn’t scream out to me as a product I would be keeping in my house. If you want to order your own bag for only 95¢ head over to the 
Ham flavored chips takes a dangerous leap into the meat flavored department. I have never even encountered these myself but if I happen to come across them I think I would have to give them a try, I mean after all aren’t you curious? Plus the honey baked part just makes them sound all the better. Smoked or cured ham would just be plain weird on a chip after all right?
Dill Pickle Flavor‽ (
Ketchup is not a flavor that I imagine would go on a chip at all. It seems like they got potato chip and french fries mixed up. Possibly because of a couple of British people on a flavor selection board somewhere. I have also encountered these in the food store but have never taken the plunge to pick up a bag and munch down. I am not a fan of ketchup to begin with and I just can’t see how it could improve a chip. Maybe I am wrong but couldn’t I just squeeze out a bottle of Heinz into a bag of plain chips and get the same effect?
The weirdest of the weird. Filet Mignon flavored chips, because sometimes you feel like a grade-A steak but only have 85¢. Personally I want to try these just to see how they can make a chip cow flavored. Sadly though it does not appear that they are readily available within the United States. Maybe if we can get some A-1 chips we can mix them together and have a pretty nice meal. Although we would need some steamed broccoli chips to really top it off. 
